Sorry Jeff....

What a month December has been! We've had Christmas celebrations, bed rest, and a trip to Florida. Sanibel was wonderful, as you can probably tell from the above pictures. The ones of the resort pool and the sunset were taken off the balcony to our room. We left early on Thursday Dec. 16 (like the flight left at 5:30am, do the math on what time we got up, can you say slightly cranky pregnant woman!) and flew back on Sunday afternoon. Roo stayed with friends and family and had a great time (my friend who watched her, Brooke, didn't have as much fun since the latest Natalie slept in for her was 6am). We pretty much lounged by the pool and floated in the pool for the whole time we were there. We had dinners with Huntington for two of the nights and Ryan had a business meeting from 7:30am-12 on one of the days. Other than that we were on our own. We slept in, as long as we wanted, both at the same time. It was the best gift ever. I told Ryan at one point when I was a big floating blog in the pool he could return all my Christmas presents, I wasn't leaving the pool. It was really interesting seeing Florida decorated for Christmas. I've never been there before the holiday and couldn't get over seeing houses decked out in lights and the HUGE tree in the hotel lobby! Overall a great experience thank you Huntington and my hard working hubby!

Let's see what else is going on? I am officially off work until after little man Michael is born. I just couldn't stop contracting and having a ton of pain. Being off my feet has helped. I fear a big jump into depression after the holidays though. Now there's stuff going on every few days and things to look forward to, I'm not sure what my attitude will be like in February! My sister-in-law Marcie made a good point the other day when I was complaining about my lack of activity. She told me to think about how I get to spend all this undivided time with Natalie before her little brother gets here. Think of how many Mom's would love to not have to focus on house work and all the other odds and ends of life and just play with their kiddo all day! My little girl defiantly is a huge bright spot! Jeff, I promise to post some really unflattering photos of myself with my ginormous belly soon!

Contentment

In the tradition of the holiday season we had a sermon this week on the subject of contentment. The scripture was Matt. 6:19-21 (to sum it up it talks of storing up treasures in heaven versus treasures here on earth and ends with "...where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Brian then went on to discuss the law of entropy (summing that up is that every form of matter is moving from a state of order to disorder, or simply stated, decaying). After a nice visual using ice cream (it looks great right out of the freezer, but leave it long enough and it is a puddle in your bowl) he went on to discuss that treasures here on earth are subject to the law of entropy. So, then the treasures in heaven are the things that are not subject to that law, ie: love, good deeds, all the intangibles. Next came a discussion of 1 Timothy 6:6-12

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love , endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
Some observations to note about the above scripture...It does not say that the rich fall into temptation, but the desire to get rich can lead there. Also, money is not the root of all evil as we have been quoted so many times, but the love of money!

So, the major point of the sermon was that earthly treasures in themselves are not all evil. But, a steady diet of them leaves no room for you to desire the treasures of heaven. Brian used the example of giving up sugar last year for lent. He said the first two weeks were horrible, but after that he started to realize how great "regular" food tasted. He said he learned in his spiritual life that if he denies himself something, that it gives room for God to wake in him a desire for something else, something bigger, those intangibles!

Time for Kara's life application time/honest and open. I like stuff, and a lot of different stuff. Am I allowing my desire for this or that to over power my desires for the treasures of heaven? I look at my daughter and feel this gut wrenching love and sense of purpose and I'm beginning to learn that Natalie and all the lessons, frustration, and joy are some of my treasures in heaven. Maybe I should be pursuing the things in life that break me down to that gut wrenching love.

I also love to be busy and active. Sometimes I think I replace quiet time and introspection with filling my schedule with just one more thing. God does not care about my schedule and how much I want to do. This is a lesson that has been taught to me in a very real way the past month or so. You don't get to be busy when you are on bed rest or "taking it easy" and there are a lot of people in my life who will remind me if I push it (not to mention the little bundle of joy that sends me piles of contractions if I misbehave). I have learned what it means to slow down and just find the miracles and beauty in the world around me, even in my own home. I've studied Natalie for hours and find myself praising God without even realizing it because of the wonder and love she fills me with. I've learned what a loving and caring husband I have who is patient beyond what I deserve or can even fathom. He starts every day brand new with a great attitude. I have much to learn from him. I have learned how to receive acts of service from others and to enjoy it, not feel guilty because I'm used to being the one to serve others. I'm learning how to accept love! Okay, enough rambles. Ryan and I are heading off to sunny Florida on Thursday and I will be thinking of you all, as I sit by the pool!

Havinababy Itsaboy

K-Well, the polls are closed and all but one of you who voted were correct! Michael Henry James Telman is well on his way and healthy as can be! Ryan wouldn't let me post the picture of his "boy parts", the little guy is pretty proud of them and really showed off for the camera (ultrasound, whatever). The ultrasound tech told us she had no doubt that he is a boy. We've had a couple ultrasounds since and all three agree. Mom has not been as healthy, we've had a few complications and I've been on and off bed rest most of this month. So Julie told me I should use my time wisely and post on my blog. Natalie is very excited about her little brother (hey, she can't talk yet so she feels however I say she feels!). If you ask her "Where is Baby Michael ?" she will come and kiss my belly. Aren't trained seals, I mean kids, great! Okay, so Ryan wants to add his two cents....shocker....

R-Did my absence make the heart grow fonder? Weren't you waiting to see what I'd say next? (Jeff, Kurt, Pete I'm not asking you. Ok the whole things is rhetorical.) I couldn't let the first posting go up and not add anything about my son. Ya, it's true I edited my wife's photo selections and Michael will thank me later in life for that, but he is proud to be a boy. Lets just hope that he has more rhythm then his dad does. Having a son and a daughter I'll get to force (I'm mean encourage) all the great sports for both boys and girls. And those sports would be football, basketball, golf, and hockey. I may allow a few others, but it must pass the committee. I taught Natalie to put her arms up every time I say touchdown!! For Michael he'll probably just pull out the Sharpie and start signing autographs.

Someone said something...

As I sit here trying to comb dried banana out of my darling daughters hair (remnants of breakfast) I am trying to think of a smart response for Jeff's last comment on my blog. Alas, I have nothing, because it is somewhat true! So here we go.

As you can see above Natalie was a ladybug for Halloween. The costume cracked us up because it was a little big in the head area and every time she turned aforesaid part the costume would stay still and her little face would disappear. So she had to walk around like Dr. Evil. Needless to say, it did not crack her up. It also didn't slow her down, she is in constant motion. She is a walking machine these days (it only took her until she was 14 months old but hey, they can't all be honor roll students). She did a little trick-or-treating with Dada and we enjoyed the candy greatly.

Last weekend Marcie and I took each other's family pictures downtown. I've been doing a lot of pictures lately and so has Marcie so the bright idea came to try and start a little bit of a business (no worries Melissa, I doubt we'll be much competition!). If anyone can come up with a good name let me know, we are stumped.

Pregnancy wise things are going well. We find out what we are having the day before Thanksgiving! I'm as big as a house already and I have felt the baby move a couple times. It is still so amazing to me that God is "knitting together" a little person inside me.

And lastly, since my Dad likes it when I talk about the sermon from Sunday here's a little paraphrase. We learned about being a neighbor. That unlike the man in Luke 10 who asked Jesus "who is my neighbor?", maybe we should be asking ourselves "Am I a neighbor?" and what it means to be a good one. Do we really see the people next to us? Do you go any deeper with people other than "how are you?" and "fine". Pastor Brian opened with a story from the Boston Globe from 1996. It discussed how when and elderly woman in the neighborhood stopped mowing her grass they got a young boy to mow it for her. Then when her pipes burst in the winter they had the water turned off. And when the mail was piling up on the doorstep they called the police. Guess what the police found when they opened her door? "Her skeletal remains laying in a pile of garbage". The best guess is that she had been dead for four years. That is a true story folks. If we can neglect and ignore the people in the closest physical proximity to us, how much more do we do the same to the acquaintances in our lives? How deep do you run? How strong are the stereotypes you have built in your mind? What decides if I get involved or if I just pass by? These questions were slightly uncomfortable for me to answer honestly, just to myself and God. Anyway, just some food for thought. Hope everyone is well, and to hear from you all soon, I love the critiques (and criticism, by the way, no one has slammed on Kurt lately, he hasn't provided any good material, huh).

Summer/Fall update

Hey again everyone, I realize it's October, but here's the update from the rest of the summer. We went camping a couple times in the pop up. Neither went very smoothly, but a fun time was had by all. Natalie discovered that she loves baked beans and will eat them until she is sick. Good to know. We went up to the Leja's cottage for Memorial day. Jodi was the grill master and as usual there was enough food to feed a small army. We relaxed, played in the water and on the beach. It was beautiful.

So far this fall we have...pretty much not done anything noteworthy. As mentioned before Ryan went away on business to Pittsburgh for the longest 9 days ever. Natalie had her first experience with and oxygen mask at our trip to the med center when she had RSV. And lastly, I've been working on this whole baby thing and have now finished the first trimester. I feel soooo much better but am finding this pregnancy thing really rough while chasing a one-year-old. I nap when I can and whine a lot :) I've got to milk this pregnancy because it is probably our last. I think it's a boy. I'm going to do one of those poll things (if I can figure it out) and see what you all think! Till next time...

Perfect?

Okay, so it has been a while since my last posting, as so many of you have discreetly pointed out. So I'm turning over a new leaf, I will not require myself to have a photo with every post. I will just subject you all to my thoughts and ramblings from time to time. Here I go...
Julie, Jessica and I were talking about a blog of one of Jessica's friends saying they really enjoyed reading it because the woman was so real with her thoughts. Then today at church, the sermon was about labels that we give to people or give to ourselves. At the end of the sermon we were invited to come to the cross to give our labels a final resting place and learn freedom in the only label we need..."forgiven".
That got me thinking, what are my labels? In school I was always the "Honor roll student" and all around "good girl". In college I was "fun", "smart" and for the majority of the time "Andy's girlfriend". Then came the crisis of graduating and starting to define myself within the real world. I think the label that described the next five years best was "nurse". It was not only my profession, but my personality all rolled in one. Then I met this skinny, red-headed guy and fell madly in love and graduated to the labels of "fiance" and then "spouse". These were hard for me because the attached me to another person. I felt I no longer had my own identity, but was always considered in context of my marriage. That's when I started to really try to achieve the label of "perfect". At times I wanted to extend that to Ryan (which is totally unfair, I realize this, but as I stated earlier I felt that I was only seen in context of my relationship. None of this was a result of anything Ryan said or did, he never labeled me as anything other than "Kara". God was so wise in sending him to me!). Then God rocked my world again and I became a "mother". This label is so weighty at times I feel crushed by the responsibility of it. "Perfect" seems so far away.
Guess what? I lose my temper at times at this amazing little gift from God, Natalie. I lose my mind at times from being tired beyond any tired I have every felt before. I don't clean my house with any sort of regularity, in fact my daughter frequently finds and eats days old Cheerios off the floor and it doesn't bother me. I have actually not had time to shower for days, and I don't remember what my face looks like when it has make-up on every day. I opt for pants instead of skirts or shorts many times because shaving my legs seems like such a time waster. I'm not a great wife to my husband all the time, I try and fail over and over. I want to be a size 6, but I am never going to be, and that gives me such a feeling of worthlessness at times it is crazy. I mean, there are people starving to death, homeless, or have suffered horrible tragedies, and I'm obsessed with the number on the tag of my jeans, get real. I love going to work some days because there I'm not "Natalie's Mom" I'm "Kara" (but I love my days off too where there is nothing better than being "mom"). So now you now my deep dark secrets and I am dropping my endless effort to be "perfect". I'm tattooing the label "forgiven" right across my forehead and embracing all that it means.
So, what are your labels and who put them there? Are you carrying a label around that you got as a child and hasn't applied in decades but haven't been able to peel off? I know it will be hard to not go back to my old insecurities when I feel like others are judging me and my family. Please give me a nudge if you feel me heading in that direction. I can always use the support of my family and friends.
Lastly, I need a new name for my site since it really is just "She says" something every 2 months. I promise to get better! Let me know what your ideas are!

A little of this and that

Let's see, what has been going on since my last post (and for the record Jessica, it was only one month ago, not two!)? Well, alot has gone on, hence the load of pictures at the start of this post. We went to Jessica's Grandparent's cottage with our small group and had a blast. Remember when tubing behind a boat was so fun and you always wanted the driver to go faster? Apparently that disappears sometime in your teens, because I have never felt so old as I did the next couple days after tubing. I think my hands were locked in a claw like shape for about 3 days and I could only turn my head to the side by turning my whole upper body, Dr. Evil fashion. Tuck-a, tuck-a, tuck-a (it's an Austin Powers reference in case I wasn't clear enough).

Next was 4th of July at the Leja home on Lake Bella Vista. Also a ton of fun. Natalie loved playing with her cousins! Ryan loved lighting off his big fire works, and I don't believe anyone was injured!

Later in July we went camping, in a tent, with an 11 month old, with Tim and Marcie and the kids. Also a ton of fun, but did lead us to the decision to buy a pop up camper. It got down into the low 40's most nights. We had Natalie bundled in so many layers she didn't notice the cold, but I did. Especially when Roo gets up a 6:15am and is ready to play. You can't let a child yell and babble in the tent, the whole campground doesn't want to be up early. So we would get up a feed her at the picnic table (her little fingers would turn blue eating her really cold banana) and then she would play. Ryan and I would huddle by the fire trying to feel our fingers. It warmed up nicely during the day and we had fun going to the beach. Ryan, Tim, and Ethan went into town for some sort of Motorcycle extravaganza and got to see some really cool tricks. I also took Natalie's one year pictures at another camp ground north of Muskegon (Pioneer park). Overall, a very fun experience.

Next was our 3rd anniversary, we did nothing, I 'm still waiting for my date...hint hint to Ryan there.

And the last exciting thing in July was Natalie turning 1! Her party was so much fun. Julie helped me make a little cake for her to destroy and about a hundred cupcakes for everyone else. She got all the toys her little heart could desire and was so exhausted by the time she went down to bed she didn't even move in her crib until morning!

So, we had a very eventful July. I'll give everyone a tour of our ghetto-fabulous trailer once we get it back from the canvas repair people. I'm also going to make new curtains and cushion covers because the old ones are teal and peach. Can you guess what year it is? Hope everyone is doing well, especially all my little pregnant friends! We miss you Josh and Jessica and already miss you in advance Erika and Bryan! Until next time...